My So Called Life And Other Lies

It's Time...

2012-03-07T07:26:00.000Z

It's time. Time to start buying in the compost, digging out the soil block maker, getting the seeds sorted and the allotment plan pencilled in. It's time. My potatoes tell me so....

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Triangles

2012-03-06T06:59:00.000Z

I don't think I ever showed you this, did I?

I made a sampler way back in May last year, and this cushion soon after, but never posted the results! Boo. Maybe it was because the sewing wasn't very neat. Hm. I was reminded of my neglect as I salivated over Manda's recent creations wondering if my penny jar would stretch that far (alas, read the post below to understand why not). I love the orange colourway of this new line in Treefall. It's very West Coast/mid-century modern and I love the splashes of pink in there.

For now I'm still getting a kick out of my own triangles, mustard and grey and everything inbetween and I must be very very good and not buy Manda's. ... ... it is a big ask. I may not make it.

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Finch in Honey

2012-03-05T07:25:00.002Z

I know. It's not even funny any more. My yarn addiction is waaay out of control. I could attempt to offer you the (lame ass) excuses I tell myself - the self-justification process part of my brain is an art form in itself. The words 'need' and 'worth it' and 'necessary' all play a part. Plans to knit just ONE more thing before I call time on my yarn buying; the economic advantage of knitting one's own rather than buying (please stop laughing); I even dig down deep and come up with a few human rights I'm sure this yarn buying upholds.

But you know what? I'm just a yarn-crack addict. I can't help it. I love yarn.

This latest splurge was bought direct from Quince and Co after seeing Amanda's lovely little "Annabel" sweater that was 'the very colour I have been SEARCHING for'. It's true. I think I have every shade and every varient of gold, honey, mustard and everything in between. This was one shade I needed to complete the entire collection. The only thing left that I HAVEN'T got would be Madelinetosh Prairie in 'candlewick' and as much as my self-talk can deluded me into most things, even *I* can't talk myself into parting with THAT much money a skein.

So. This little bundle of joy is currently awaiting the time when it is balled up ready to be transformed into a FLS. I've tried this pattern before, it needs concentration, so not really a mindless knit while the kids play, more of a bedtime knitting thing. But that's OK. The effort is worth it when it turns out right.

And then, when (hopefully) this yarn has been transformed into knitting gold I think I can put my mustard obsession down and move on.

Hmmm....

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.: Weekending :.

2012-03-03T15:22:00.000Z

The weekend so far. Involving an inordinate amount of yarn and plenty of daydreaming.

Dreams + Yarn. They go well together.

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{this moment}

2012-03-02T07:55:00.000Z

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Yarn Obsessions pt. 3

2012-02-28T07:42:00.000Z

I'll just state for the record once again - I control the yarn; it doesn't control me. Much.

All balled up and ready to go. I love having a stash of yarn ready to knit up. Some days it's enough to make life worth living!

What are you knitting these days?

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Our Days

2012-02-27T07:53:00.000Z

Sometimes people ask me what we do all day - how does educating our children ourselves affect our days. It's an odd question; we don't compartmentalise our lives into segments, we just live, together, in everything that we do, as a family. Our days together includes lots of ...

:: Mess, yes there is, I won't lie. Does it drive me batsh*t crazy?? You bet. But I rather like having a house that feels lived in and comfortable rather than a show home that no one feels relaxed in.

:: Enlongated Jimmy Jam mornings in front of the fire. Yep. Guilty as charged. Somedays we don't get out of our PJs til waaaay past 9am. And if it's one of those days, sometimes way past that too. Am I bothered? Not especially. Some days bonding with siblings and inventive play are more important than time-keeping, don't you think?

:: Sit down work. We do that too. I cannot be called a radical unschooler. We split the time into concentrated instruction and free investigation. It's a balance. They follow their interests and are encouraged to do so, but I would be helping no one if they didn't learn to read, write and add up...

:: Lego and construction. Oh yes. We. Have. Le. Go. And the machines they invent - oh my. Watching their imaginations soar is one of the few privileges of being a mother - one of the amazing things about being together as a family. In so many ways our children teach us so much.

:: Tea Breaks. Mini-escape routes in loud, hectic days. Often accompanied by copious amounts of knitting. And chocolate.

:: Inventing - constant inventing, making, designing. Our 'invention' box is full to the brim with egg boxes, cardboard tubes, tin foil and weird odds and ends and bolts and string. And what the mini-man can make with them is nobody's business. Telescopes, guns, computers - things that don't have a name, haven't been invented yet or perhaps are waiting a use... if it can be cut, stuck together with duct tape or hammered into position, they make it.

:: Photography & Art - lots of picture taking in this house. We are bloggers you know!

:: Role Play - astronauts, soldiers, kings, doctors, chefs and everything in-between. It is not unusual to find a leopard-skinned soldier in top hat and fur stole in this house. Sometimes fabric dens are needed. Sometimes my cushions are commandeered for HQ building. Without doubt there are a plethora of gadgets and inventions (see above) included in this play. Again, it's these moments that make the drudgery of mothering all worthwhile.

:: Books. Books, oh the books - everywhere and on every subject under the sun. From astrophysics to gardening, dinosaurs to evolution and everything in between. Scattered over every surface, filling every shelf. We rival only the British Library in our collection, I am quite sure...

:: Warmth and Love, Fights and Forgiveness. Yes. There's lots of that too.

Our days together. Just ordinary, beauiful moments that make up a lifetime of living as a family. Not so different from yours, yes?

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{this moment}

2012-02-24T07:32:00.000Z

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Simple Pleasures :: Fresh Flowers

2012-02-22T07:38:00.002Z

The first cut flowers of the year. I can't decide what I love most - the colour or the perfume. Both make me giddy. Can I hear spring up the road? Dare I hope? Well, regardless of how long it takes it to officially land I declare flower season open.

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Out

2012-02-21T07:35:00.000Z

Air in our lungs, a stretch of our legs, a few cobwebs blown away and a little bit of play.

Some people spend a small fortune on retail therapy or a day at the spa. Us? We just go out.

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Somebody stop me...

2012-02-20T07:50:00.000Z

More stripes! Another hat! So easy and mindless and they're cascading off the needles at a rate of knots! Both brothers stripey and co-ordinated... if I don't run out of leftover yarn soon you will probably see more in the future...

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Phonics Kit :: Review

2012-02-18T07:55:00.000Z

As six-year-olds prepare for the first ever phonics check at school this
summer, Biff, Chip and Kipper - popular and well known in most schools in the UK under the Oxford Reading Tree umbrella, will be giving a reassuring helping hand to
parents and children who want to practise together at home.

‘My Phonics Kit’ includes a CD-ROM with eBooks and phonics support; reward
chart; sticker sheet; tips for parents; and 3 phonics workbooks. It has been
created by educational experts, to be totally in line with how children
learn to read in school. The Kit combines decoding practice with engaging
stories and interactive features.

If you're worried about how well your child is reading, or maybe you'd like to help them build up confidence at home, this little pack is a nice package with easy on the eye text, clear instructions and everything you would need to help your child learn their phonics on their way to reading.

‘My Phonics Kit’ is widely available to purchase now
RRP of £9.99
Amazon £6.10 plus free shipping.

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{this moment}

2012-02-17T07:43:00.000Z

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Makin'

2012-02-16T07:20:00.000Z

I spend a fair amount of my time each week taxiing my babes to various classes. I can only imagine this time will increase as they get older. In a few places where waiting is obligatory I have made for myself a mama combat survival bag where I can place and quickly grab all the things which will stop me losing the will to live as I wait and wait and wait.

Liking this pattern and this pattern with varying degrees, but not enough to straight copy, I drew up a little pouch of my own to suit my needs - big enough for a pad, a pen, a pouch for my phone, a pocket for quick access to keys, adjustable/removable strap and, uh, pretty. It just about fits everything except the knitting, and is small enough to put into a larger basket to take along too, if I want to take the knitting with me.

The fabric is Denyse Schmidt's Flea Market Fancy that I've hoarded for years, with some 'Magic Beans' by American Jane thrown in for good measure.

So far it has held up pretty well, and I do like not having to scrabble around in my huge, take-everywhere bag to find things!

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Thinking of Green

2012-02-15T07:29:00.002Z

February. The longest month in all but days. It drags so painfully on. This past weekend it suddenly struck me that I hadn't ordered seeds for our allotment yet! The seed stash was rummaged through, the list written, and I think we'll actually have enough seeds this year without re-ordering any.

The thought of being able to set seeds off, to be surrounded by greenery once again, well it makes me giddy just thinking about it. The smell of things growing surely is one of the most satisfying aromas there is. I honestly can not wait until growing season is back on.

If only February would just hurry up.....

How do you survive winter? Any tips? Apart from comfort foods and sulking!

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More Stripes...

2012-02-14T07:45:00.004Z

Do you need a reason to knit a hat? No. You do not. They are simple enough makes which engage the hands and leave the mind to zone out without taxing the brain or demanding anything except deciding what colour to work in.

I told you I felt we had more stripes in our future! The scrap cardigan itself had leftovers (leftovers of leftovers, you can't say I don't make the yarn work for us) and so in an attempt to finish all scraps off, I opted for knitting a hat or two to add to the woollen pile.

And there may even be more waiting in the wings, you never know....

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Always the Last to Know...

2012-02-13T07:22:00.013Z

If you've been reading my blog for a very long time you will know that after the birth of my second child I was laid low with Post Natal Depression. 'Depression' doesn't even do the damn thing justice - mood was the last thing to go. With the rise and fall of massive amounts of hormones and chemicals in our pregnancy-to-post-pregnancy brains plenty can get knocked off balance. In my case (and in many cases) the chemical free-for-all knocked one of the balance-centres in one of my inner ears off. Neural networks weren't relaying the messages from ear to brain. I had debilitating vertigo (I would have to put the kids to bed on my hands and knees to stop falling over) which left me unable to walk without holding onto a frame of somekind. The room would constantly spin, leaving me feeling constantly sea-sick and with a constant migraine just trying to see straight - my eyes would constantly track, because every second was like I'd just stepped off a merry-go-round. Every step was like walking a tightrope and for no reason some steps felt like I had just dropped a hundred feet and blacked out. Very scary, especially when you don't really know what's wrong with you, you imagine the worse and realise you have two small kids that you don't want to leave behind.

The mood changes were part and parcel of it, but the odd thing with depression is that you are the last person who sees it. You think, 'I'm not depressed - if my husband wasn't such a prat I'd be OK' or 'if this dizziness would go I'd be happy' or 'if we just get over this bump in the road it would be all plain sailing'. And you know what? Those are lies we tell ourselves, because if we weren't depressed then the husband's prattishness would be funny, the dizziness put into perspective and the hump in the road a nice little change of scenery. Depression is a silent stalker and you will never know you have it til it's way of out of control.

Luckily I have an excellent GP who I love to bits. She listens to me, nudges me gently and really knows what's going on. I have been on anti-depressants for about four years now, and this winter (against my GPs advice) I decided to come off them. And for a few weeks everything was great. But that insidious creeping hand of depression sapped me dry and after a pretty crappy week which called on some reserves I no longer had, it was time to admit defeat - again - and start back on them.

In some ways I'm annoyed - I don't want to be on medication for the rest of my life; but at the same time I want to be functional - 'normal' will never really be my thing - but able to interact with my family? That is pretty essential, I'd say.

I don't think I'll ever be free from depression if I'm honest. I have too much baggage and too much negative self-talk that keeps pulling me under. I have self-esteem issues; I don't like myself at all one little bit and know the feeling is pretty much mutual wherever I go! And that feeds back into the negative self talk etc. But I've started to take steps to reclaiming health this year, one of which is to be part of Heather's Whole Food Kitchen Workshop. Something one of the other partipants said in their introductions about eating healthily being necessary to avoid getting depressed was something that rattled around in my head (as there was nothing in there to prevent it rattling around). I eat terribly - two cups of tea a day sometimes. Is it any wonder I feel like crap?

Taking charge of my diet this year is something that has been a long time coming; I may share some of that journey here.

Another thing is that I'm cutting back on my online time - I know - shocking. I tend to have the PC on constantly and it's just *there* like a telephone, ready for a quick email, check the news, find something educational, and yeah if we're honest, Pinterest and Facebook and Twitter. And whereas a lot of my online time is pleasant I was reminded last week why I have a deep suspicion of it all. There's always some ugliness and ugly character traits waiting to have free reign. Or someone spreading bad news. Or something typed in haste that sounds different to what you said in your head. And yes, it takes up time I could be having a life in. So I've left facebook. Stalking really isn't my thing. I've also stopped reading the news - headlines only then run away - that's a new survival technique in this miserable world. And I may even get rid of comments on the blog. Because, honestly, I've had enough of shallow intellectualism and handbags at dawn to last a lifetime - a sign of monkeys and those devoid of Allah's love is that they love argumentation; and I really don't. I think I remember why I lost my voice. I need to cut back on the negatives, stop the negative self-talk tape set on repeat from drowning out the good stuff, and to focus on the beauty, the goodness and the good in others that brings out the best in myself. Negativity is an ugly whirlpool. Some people, some situations, some paths just bring out the worst in us and drag us under. I may even *begins to hyperventilate* turn off the computer altogether until evening.....

But mainly, I am excited to be trying to turn our family's eating habits around this year. Or maybe just mine. Whatever works. If I can get my two little men into eating more green things then I'll be happy. I am actually really excited to be starting this three month course with Heather and the rest of the participants. There is so much positivity over there it kind of helps relight a dwindling flame somewhere deep inside me.

So, a renewed pledge to Positivity and good friends. Whatever you're doing, and whatever works for you, I hope it is a path that is beautiful, full of positive energy and that you are surrounded by people who bring out the best in you! I'm slowly realising, after all these years, that that is what really matters.

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Weekending

2012-02-12T14:09:00.000Z

Just chillin'...

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{this moment}

2012-02-10T07:21:00.002Z

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This Busy Table

2012-02-09T07:22:00.000Z

I dream of having a proper farmhouse table someday. Thick, sturdy legs; pastry-rolling height; worn and old and gnarled. That would be right next to the farm of my dreams and living happily ever after in the dreams section of my brain on a back-burner. I would love a huge table that the whole family, any passing guests and extended in-laws could happily sit around in comfort as we tucked into a hearty, healthy meal by candle-light.

*Puff* Back to reality. This is the table we have now. It is still very big - certainly big enough for our needs, and had we actually a room big enough to fit it in without having to scuttle sideway around and climb over chairs and each other to get to our seats, it would be perfect.

Right now, this is the table we work from.

I wonder if when I'm an old(er) woman I'll have fond memories of this table? Even this house? Certainly a lot gets done here. My children are growing around this table... in so many ways.

And this is me trying to MAKE the best of everything, even though I don't HAVE the best of everything. Sometimes, to be happy with life, that's all you can do, isn't it?

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Mama Knits

2012-02-08T07:53:00.000Z

The Scrap Cardigan is done. Woop. A totally mindless knit from beginning to end, hardly no time at all and with a few weavings of sticks and a little patience et voila - something from nothing. It's almost witchcraft.

The midget declared he likes it and now the eldest wants his cardigan ASAP. No hardship at all - a little bit of mama witchery and some weaving of those magic sticks and hopefully he too will have a weird-looking cardigan of his very own. How easily pleased my babes are; how lucky I am to have children with zero interest in fashion quite content to wear anything so long as it makes them look like escaped convicts or a cartoon character. I wonder how long it will be before they get a clue and refuse me to make them things? Perhaps even burying the evidence that they wore such monstrosities... I'd better get it while the good times are good and knit like I've never knit before... I feel a lot more stripes in our future!

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Close - but no Cigar ...

2012-02-07T07:49:00.000Z

Sometimes I can start and finish a project in one fell swoop, in one day, in a few hours, a weekend or whatever, and people will be like, how do you DO it - how do you manage to get so much done ... to which I answer - Dude, I have absolutely NO IDEA - because, well, other projects can lay in various stages of progress for literally years... see above. Sitting around tantalisingly close, but not yet finished. Nor do I have the energy or vision to make them so. It defies logical explanation as to why some things get done in hours whilst other things, things which are almost DONE never make it to the 'give the man a cigar' list.

I am really hoping that these projects get finished and I can bore you all with details... but I'm not holding my breath.

Moving on. Announcing store-wide discounts over at Vintagalia. I'm having a re-think about costing, and whereas I would like to charge silly prices for my independent handmade objects I am under no illusion as to how hard things are right now, and how much tighter money matters are getting. We are all feeling it. But I hope that we can still allow ourselves to buy independent and handmade, and still find ways to make our homes beautiful without having to forego things like, uh, food. I've reduced most things by a third, and that's basically rock bottom. Instead of having sales throughout the year I'm just going to keep prices consistently low; they are already fair but I'm just slicing the last shred of fat off them.

So take a look, share the love and spread the word. Vintagalia is granny cheap chic!

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A Brief Encounter

2012-02-06T07:37:00.000Z

This weekend winter payed us a brief visit. I like snow for about five minutes and then I'm so over it. I love it when it's new - all quiet, no footprints, everything fresh. Then when the kids have smashed it and wrecked it and shoved every last inch of snow down the neighbourhood's kids backs, I'm done.

Although it has had the effect of making me knit more. Curious.

Hoping that spring and summer hurry on their way. I'm so over winter.

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Random Weekend Wandering

2012-02-05T11:42:00.009Z

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{this moment}

2012-02-03T07:17:00.002Z

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Wall Hangings

2012-02-01T07:53:00.000Z

I've been having fun with fabric again, fiddling about with vintage cast-offs, trim, floss and what-have-you's and making another little wall hanging to convey a message in a granny chic manner.

Just a little love-letter to these muppets to remind them (and me) that, even though I yap and quack and snap and brandish rolling pins over my head in a threatening manner when it's all too much, that despite all my verbal angst-ridden steam-letting-off venom, I do love them very much.

And it compliments this other little wall hanging quite nicely too, I think. I'm getting quite a collection up now, aren't I? I wonder what message will be next? Perhaps, 'sit down, shut up'? Or, 'close your mouth when you chew'? Maybe, 'If mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy'?... best to keep them upbeat I think ...I'll work on it and let you know.

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Knitting Woes and Highs

2012-01-31T07:15:00.002Z

You may recall seeing last week, and indeed several weeks beforehand if you have a beady eye, some lovely mustard-coloured yarn on the sticks. I was working on designing a new pattern for sale. That little project was sailing along nicely until I tried to order a couple more skeins in the same colourway to finish it off only to be told it wasn't being made any more *insert one of those needle-scratches-off-the-record-to-dead-silence noises* - I beg your pardon? Why did you fail to mention that those skeins I ordered were the last on earth?? And so in a mad flurry of 'it'll be alright on the night' I purchased some more yarn in a slightly different colourway, because I was hoping, in some weird twisted way that they would match.

They didn't. They complimented each other rather nicely, but I did not envisage a rather large stripe along the bottom on my new creation. Of course, what I really need is another large batch of yarn in one colour, to start and finish the new pattern properly. I don't have the cash for that right now. So what does any grown woman do when things don't go her way? She sulks. Of course.

But rather than letting that niggle spoil my evening, I grabbed a new pattern - and every left-over ball of yarn I have - and began a very satisfying project - The Scrap Cardigan. I've made one of these before; it is an incredibly easy knit - mindless, even. (I know that should be 'mindful', but it really isn't).

It is very stripey, ironically, given that it was because I *didn't* want stripes in a project that I began this one. But the midget will love that - he loves stripes, because 'it makes me look like I've just broken out of jail'... *shrugs*... when you're six and a half that's a *good* thing. Apparently.

I am enjoying this knit, in fact I can't put it down. And that's really what it's all about, because like the ladies say, "knitting is spozed to be fun". Amen.

And the best part of all in this knitting fiasco? I have four skeins of complimentary-coloured yarn to now knit something else just for me.

I think that's what they call a win-win situation.

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In the Middle of the Making

2012-01-30T08:33:00.002Z

Starting, planning, hoping and envisaging are all part of the process of making. Sometimes I think it's the best part; once the item is made there can be disappointment, or an anti-climax, or even a sense of 'what now'. But before the nadir of the making process is reached, the envisaging stage happily keeps my brain purring along, stops it oozing out of my earholes from utter boredom.

I have lists of things I envisage, some of which are pipe-dreams, but so long as that list exists I am happy.

Right in the middle of the process - that's where I am at my happiest....

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Weekending

2012-01-29T15:27:00.001Z

:: A weekend worry of more sickness was allayed by a morning (the whole morning!) nap for the little guy. Ahhh, a blessing to see him wake up happier.

:: The grey rain held off to allow the the sun to blaze through at some point this weekend. I dreamed of spring, and seeds not yet ordered! (Eek!!)

:: Then I noticed the dust everywhere.... shall I dust, or just wait for it to start raining again so I don't see it anymore? I think the latter... I have knitting and tea to occupy me...

:: Reading a new book and wondering how I've lived life without it, and learning more by page 28 than in an entire 30-something years combined (it's a good one, will share when I've digested it...)

:: Planning a little bit of gaming with the babes in front of the checkers board.

:: Wishing you a peaceful end to the weekend!

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{this moment}

2012-01-27T07:35:00.004Z

This is a moment I'm getting really tired of seeing right now....

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When Did I Lose my Voice?

2012-01-26T07:54:00.000Z

Sometimes I sit down to write here and very often I delete what I have written and post pictures of my knitting or something instead. That's no hardship. I quite like having a journal of crafting endeavours to look back on. But when did I lose my voice in this online world? In fact, in the world in general?

It's true I shy away from expressing opinions anymore, because, well that's just what a lot of what it is - opinion, and why rattle peoples' cages unnecessarily with thoughts they don't have when you can opt for a quiet life instead?

I have had my fair-share of ding-dongs with people who disagree with me over the years; and my rather quick temper and caustic way with words have only ever exacerbated that. Combine that with a rather pathological personally trait of never backing down and, well, it can put a strain on things can't it? I don't suffer fools gladly but over the years I have at least learned to keep my ranting inside my head and gloss over the rest with a 'oh well, we're all different'. There are only a handful of people who will ever hear me rant in real life now.

But that makes me come across as rather docile here - someone so utterly defunct of a brain that she has to resort to writing about sewing and knitting to give her some kind of meaning to her miserable life (which may be true), when actually, I purposely do not share my thoughts simply to avoid getting walloped over the head by irate shallow thinkers... there I've done it again. I've labeled someone as a shallow thinker instead of pretending that I think they are dead, dead deep and clever... this having an opinion lark can be treacherous. I've made a statement that is open to counter-attack. Wouldn't it be easier to post a scone recipe...?

I don't know where this post is leading, but perhaps I should stop deleting posts just for a quiet life? It's an intersting proposition... whether I'm up for it is another matter.

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Game on

2012-01-25T07:06:00.002Z

First it was Blokus, then chess, then checkers, then Pop to the Shops, and now we are back to chess again. I must admit to finding sitting gaming more of a chore than a pleasure (I don't like thinking on my coffee break...), but with some knitting, tea and a good old natter with these boys of mine, I think I can manage to finish off a game or two...

What games are your little people into?

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Rain or Shine

2012-01-24T08:35:00.006Z

Keeping sane with knitting through sick days, gloomy days, boring days and flat out busy days. I love this yarn, I don't really want this knit to end. But I have others waiting in the wings for more of my attention, dreams and time... that's the beauty of this craft...it just never gets old.

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Candles

2012-01-23T08:40:00.009Z

The boys have been making their own candles. We made some for the solstice and we're pretty much addicted to how easy they are.

I also have some molds for making tapered candles for the dinner table. We only ever use beeswax for our candles now - smokeless flames, a honey scent and the purifying nature of a burning weeswax candle means that we hardly ever use other types at all. I do love everything about beeswax - especially the colour. I dream of the day that my own bees will provide some of the wax for our use (dream on, I know). You never know...

For now we are content to buy the sheets and roll our own, or melt and pour and wait for the wax to set. It's like a little bit of magic, really - from nothing to something useful, something beautiful. And in this gloomy weather just the right thing to add a splash of beauty to our days too.

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Weekending

2012-01-22T16:11:00.000Z

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{this moment}

2012-01-20T07:49:00.004Z

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The Mod Podge Diaries.... 2

2012-01-18T07:46:00.002Z

I never showed you these, did I? They've been around for a couple of years. I have no idea how they haven't made a blog appearance before now. These are a couple of vintage cases I thrifted for the purpose of giving the the boys somewhere to keep their treasures in - you know, cards from relatives, pen pal letters, important nick nacks like broken key rings and pieces of crayon - important stuff. They were, however, quite ugly and I think you know by now that I can't stand any shade of ugly. So with a couple of pages from an old, but not quite vintage (I don't want any dearies to have a heart attack), and several layers of Mod Podge these little gems were rustled up.

I can't tell you how much the boys love them - not only having a little special place to keep their treasures, but to have interesting and beautiful covers as well - well, they are proud as punch.

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The Mod Podge Diaries.... 1

2012-01-17T07:17:00.008Z

Organisation is something I like doing. It feels like I'm achieving something tangible. Folded, tidied, put away, everything with a little home of its own, perhaps even a folder, or wallet, or box. Yes, that's me. I like everything to have a home.

What I do *not* like is spending money on other peoples' ideas of how to get organised - gosh there are some ugly creations out there - plastic tubs stacked on another (I have my fair share of these before you say anything), drawers for paper which take up too much room, filing systems that are expensive. My idea of organisation has to square perfectly with being a) compact and put-away-able and b) dirt cheap bordering on free. And yes, if we're honest, c) homemade.

And d) 'beautiful'. Recently I needed a place to put all the worksheets and work the boys get through - filing systems, under the bed, in a bag, left near the printer - all these options had been tried and tested, and I couldn't ignore the mass of work any longer. These free cardboard boxes suited me - they are the right size, strong and stackable. Alas, they lacked the quality of 'beauty'.

Enter Mod Podge to the rescue. Again.

With just a little piece of Penguin Classic wrapping paper from our department store I pasted the sides of the boxes with this faux bookshelf, and ta-da! instant granny chic camoflage for an ugly box!

I can place these on a shelf out of the way and they instantly blend in with the aesthetic of the decor. Granny Chic camoflage for sure. I like it. I may be doing it again. I may even attempt to cover the children in it. Watch this space.

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Scone Today 's Gone Tomorrow

2012-01-16T07:13:00.005Z

I thought that title was probably one of my best puns. But then, my puns generally aren't very punny.

Moving on. I had meant to have some nice pictures of projects I've been working on but either our connection or Mr Flickr is broken and so scones it is. Which is probably karma because I've been meaning to post this recipe fo' EVA.

You Will Need ::

1LB SR FLour
Pinch of salt
4oz butter
150ml milk
2oz caster sugar
1/4 cup of dried milk powder
Almond flavouring (optional)
Sultanas (optional)
A handful of glace cherry (optional)
1 egg to glaze

Make ::

1. Pre-heat oven to 200*C
2. Mix the flour and salt and rub in the butter til crumbs
3. Stir in the sugar, milk powder and milk (and any optional extras) and make a dough - the less you handle this the better the scones turn out. So try not to handle it too much.
4. Place on a floured surface and use hands to get the correct thickness - about 1/2". Use an upside down cup to cut out round shapes.
5. Beat an egg to glaze the scones, brush on and place the scones in the oven for about 20mins depending on your oven and the size of scone.

Best served with homemade butter and jam - how-tos for both can be found on the tutorial page.

Really a simple straight forward make. My family love these, the milk powder really adds an extra something to them.

If you make some and want to share, please add to our Flickr Group - I would love to see you there!

**EDIT** I realise now that I've mixed three different types of measurement in that recipe - metric, imperial, and American - all I can say is - vive la différence!

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{this moment}

2012-01-13T07:55:00.000Z

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Selvedge

2012-01-11T07:20:00.002Z

If you've been following my blog long enough you will know how much I love selvedge. It defies explanation; the first thing I do when I get new fabric is cut the selvedge off and place it into a bag with all the others I've accumulated over the years. I've never really had a 'plan' with what I was going to do with this mass of fabric edging - it was just some form of crafting OCD thing.

I know others have done amazing things with these pieces of selvedge - quilts, pincushions, a dress for crying out loud, but for the most part nothing really grabbed me as a project I wanted to dip into the mad OCD stash for.... until... I landed on Fussy Cut and immediately thought 'yes!' when I saw her mug rug tutorial. So obvious and so pretty and something I actually could use.

So one afternoon I locked myself away and rummaged through the stash and made a rainbow of mug rugs for the sitting room. Easy, peasy and very satisfying to make.

I have my eye on some placemats for the dinner table and maybe even a table runner too? If my stash could possibly hold out that long, I can see no reason why we shouldn't eat and drink surrounded by my selvedge obsession...

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Something to Hug

2012-01-10T07:02:00.012Z

A little impromtu sewing session took hold as the midget snuggled in bed reading books feeling under the weather. He wants a cat, and we can't have a real one, so he got his sewing book, flicked through the pages and declared he wanted to MAKE one then.

And that's just what we did.

Umming and ahhing over my fabric shelves, he chose the colour of his cat, the colour of the thread, he cut around the cat template, sewed, stuffed and helped to embroider the facial details. And then, he loved his new kitty cat up.

I love the way these boys of mine assume that if they want something they can make it (not buy it). That's their first thought :: how can we make that? And often the first port of call is to their mama for some help. It makes me proud to think that the midget now has a cat of his own to hug as tightly as he can - all through his own work.

Although... he still wants a *real* cat....

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Quietly celebrating

2012-01-09T07:06:00.004Z

Ten.

Ten times around the sun on rocketship Earth. How is it possible for me, an 18 year old, to have a ten year old boy?? I am so 18. Am so. Am. LALALALALALA not listening LALALALALALALA.

Ten.

TEN.

Life just keeps marching on doesn't it....

*** *** ***

Weekending :: Randomness

2012-01-08T14:38:00.001Z

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{this moment}

2012-01-06T07:13:00.000Z

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

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Holiday Rewind :: Stocking Fillers :: Lip Balm Recipe

2012-01-05T07:35:00.003Z

I still haven't given my family their Christmas presents yet - we didn't manage to make it up to pass them on, but hopefully soon, hopefully before Easter...

One thing we did manage to make, as I do this time of year, is a batch of lip balm. I hate buying the stuff in the shops when homemade is invariably easier, cheaper and better for us, and the babes always have some stuffed in their coat pockets for when we are out bird-watching, or whatever it is we do in cold weather...

So I made a couple extra for stocking stuffers and thought how easy this recipe is and why hadn't I blogged it yet? So here it is - the recipe. Both easy and peasy, keeping it simple, the way I like it.

You Will Need ::

Something to put your balm in - small tins, an old washed out lip balm tube - or buy new off the web in batches like we do,
Beeswax pellets,
Oil, we use almond oil,
1 or 2 drops of essential oil, we use peppermint,
If you want colour then a little bit of old lipstick,
A double-boiler (an old baked bean tin in a saucepan of water does just as well),
Glass pippette droppers (if you want to use lip balm tubes instead of tins),

To Make ::

You can make as much or as little as you like so long as you keep to the ratio of 3 parts oil to 1 part beeswax pellet. This is a general rule to make it lip balm consistency. If you want it runnier, add more oil. Harder, add more beeswax. For a small batch of three or four tins we used :: 1 tablespoon beeswax pellets, 3 tablespoons oil.

Add all your ingredients into the tin and place the tin into a pan of boiling water. As the beeswax melts take a small whisk or fork and beat the ingredients together.

Once the ingredients are mixed then either pour into your tins or use the pippette to drop the mixture into the tubes.

Leave to cool. If the mixture is not the right consistency, then dig it out and reboil it in your double boiler tin adding either more oil or beeswax to how you would like it.

That's it. Really very easy, cheap and satisfyingly healthy! There are many recipes on the net for fancy lip balms should you get a mad glint in your eye and want to make even more, but this basic recipe will do your family just fine.

Give it a go and let me know how you get on - in fact, if you do make some please share your pictures over on My So Called Life Flickr Group.

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A Rustic Pouch

2012-01-04T07:11:00.000Z

One thing I did manage to quickly hobble together in our weeks of illness was this rather rustic looking pouch. As is evident by its construction, it was an easy make - being simply two cushion/pillow covers that sat on top of my 'reclaiming the fabric' pile, sewn together, hemmed at the top, with an added length of cotton tape for closure. And an embroidery detail just to show what this pouch was for - love letters.

Yes, I get love letters. Not from the oaf I call 'husband', but from the two apples of my eyes, my babes. A stream of letters steadily make their way into my hands each week, but the weeks we were ill the letters flowed pretty constantly - 'I love you mummy', 'I hope you feel better mummy'. And I would leave them letters to find in the morning, 'Mummy loves you even though you have big gobs', and 'Mummy loves you even though you're mental'. My work desk was overflowing with love, and so this pouch was quickly envisaged and made in about ten minutes, and is now where I keep all the love together.

A love letter pouch; so simple, yet so useful. Do you have somewhere for your love letters too??

*** *** ***

Easing Back in...

2012-01-03T07:27:00.006Z

Well that blog break wasn't as relaxing and as fruitful as I'd imagined it would be - mainly because we spent the majority of it really sick! We are still convalescing, actually. Actually, we're still ill! Just when I think we've kicked it the kids throw up again... three weeks and going strong...Ugh, but I don't want to dwell on it. I am grateful that we have the time as a family to listen to our own body's demands and have the space to slow down as much as we need. Not many people have that luxury anymore, so even though being ill and doing nothing seemed such a 'waste of time', reflecting on it, we are really fortunate to have that space. But let's just move on as quickly as we can from that memory of gloom and glumness and instead marvel at just how many pictures I *did* find when I eventually emptied my camera!

And the sun is returning, the days are getting stronger light ever so slightly, and we know that we are moving towards a new spring. Blossom! Outside play! Doors and windows open! insha'allah. Such sweet joys to look forward to.

Until then we have tea, cosiness and take-along craft to occupy our hands and fill our minds.

And more than that, we have each other masha'allah.

Easing back in - into the blog, the outside world after a long time curling up in illness, into new craft projects and back into old projects with new vigour. It feels good to be back. And you? How have you been? I've missed your daily chatter - pull up a chair and tell me everything that's been going on in your life...

*** *** *** *** *** ***

In other blog-related news I've syndicated the blog onto Amazon for download onto Kindle - I don't charge - it's the Man that's making the money (99p for a monthly subscription! I don't get a penny!) - so if you'd like to take me along on Kindle for train rides and park bench knitting sprees (I think that sounds rather 'me' - to think of someone sitting on a park bench with their knitting, a cup of coffee and this blog on their kindle as their children play around them, oh I like the sound of that...) you can find me over on Amazon HERE.

{and talking of Kindle, the first issue of Seasonal Living & Learning e-zine can now be bought for Kindle too - and a 'Look Inside' or free sample can be found on Amazon HERE}

Also, to bring some coherency to my blog/etsy business (which have different names), I'm now under the umbrella name of Vintagalia and you might see me around as that in Blogger too - Vintagalia.blogspot.com - this blog won't be moving, and I won't be changing this blog's name, but it just makes it easier when giving the web a place to point its cursor at, so to speak. If anyone wants to link to Vintagalia rather than My So Called Life, then please do - it's all the same really. A badge for linking can also now be used ::

copy/paste

Thanks friends!

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The Obligatory Looking Back : Looking Forward Blog Post 2011

2011-12-31T07:21:00.001Z

Another year gone. Where DO they go? Cliches exist because they are true, but time is flying, isn't it?

A lot of this year's time, energy, emotion and focus centred around the diagnoses and short illness and ultimate death of my father from pancreatic cancer. I still have the text on my phone on the day my mother implored me to ring them. Never a good type of message, so the very date of learning that Dad didn't have an ulcerated hernia but cancer is etched firmly on my phone as 20. Jan. 2011. As a year's opener it was a sucky start. Never one to stick my head in the sand, or my fingers in my ears, I quickly read everything Mr. Google had to offer about pancreatic cancer, whilst friends offered advice about who the Man was when it comes to which oncologist he should ask to be referred to. My parents are lucky to live within driving distance to one of the best pancreatic specialists in Europe, but Dad didn't want to goto him, preferring to stay close to home. I will never understand that decision. I think it probably cost him weeks of his life, but Allahu Alim.

February was a month I spent knitting for my Dad - hats, vests, making rice pads and other things I can't remember, anything to ease his pain, keep him warm, show him I loved him. It was a month of living proof that the NHS postcode lottery was appallingly true whn it took the hospital over two weeks to call Dad in for his results and more tests - in fact, had Dad not gone to his GP and asked for them, and had his GP not demanded they fax them over ASAP I'm sure he would have fallen through the cracks altogether. They wasted two weeks. It would turn out to be two of only the eight he lived before he died.

March - it arrives like that, doesn't it? Marches on. Ploughing into the start of the year proper - with outside play at last, and the days getting noticeably longer. Time to garden, make it to the allotment.
One night Dad was taken into hospital, a week later he was due to start chemo, and that's when the bombshell dropped - he was too ill for chemo; all they could do was send him home. If my mother hadn't been a broken woman before this, then this was the moment she almost lost it - chemo had been her last hope; to be told there was nothing they could do... well, no one likes to be told that, do they?

I spent some time at my parents' house. They didn't really want visitors until Dad was sorted out with chemo and the like. I kept away for as long as possible. Other people visited, but for some reason they didn't want me with my lot confusing matters. And if you've ever met my kids you'd understand. You don't need two forces of nature ripping through your house when you want to curl up and whimper. But at last I ventured North sans children, completely nervous at what Dad would look like. Have you ever seen that last picture of Steve Jobs before he died? Yeah, well that's what pancreatic cancer gets you like - a Belsen victim. I've never seen anyone look so ill. He was wizened now, needing a stick to walk, have help up and down the stairs, and a syringe driver attached to his stomach stopping him from constantly vomitting. It was clear that someone should be with them in case Mum needed help - one night poor Dad fell and it needed two of us to help him get back to his feet - and so we arranged a rota so that Mum would have either me, my brother, my siser or my aunt to stay. I had just passed the baton over to my aunty for a three day break before planning to return the following Wednesday, my brother had then turned up so she could go home, and it was then that I got the phonecall that he could 'go anytime, come as soon as you can'. It was afternoon and I had a five hour drive ahead of me; I pondered whether to wait til the next morning and make a fresh start, but my husband said I should go or maybe regret that decision. He went to put oil, water and petrol in the car - filling the front seat up with snacks on the go, and I packed for me and the kids - everything except anything I needed, it turned out - before driving the 250 mile journey in record speed. I mean, record speed - I even got stuck behind a milk wagon on the Pennines and I still broke the record of how long it took me to get there. The national speed limit was just a technicality at that point. Parking up, I ran into the house, manually lifted my sister out of the way, and ran up to my Dad who was in bed, breathing hard. He had the 'rattle'. It was all I could do to get a damp cloth and literally mop his brow watching him struggle for breathe with one collapsed lung. I told him I loved him, he said he loved me too. The kids ran in to say 'hi', he seemed pleased to see them, though for the midget it was a shock to see his Granddad like that, and he didn't come back in. Nurses came to change his syringe and get him comfortable, and I put the kids to bed in the double bed. You can imagine the none-sleep they were getting as they bounced on the bed and poked their noses out the curtains...

A while later Dad was having real difficulty breathing and we called the nurses back. It was as they tried to make him comfortable we heard his 'rattling' stop and were pleased to think he was now breathing properly. That was when the nurses ran in and told us he was going, and it was time to say 'goodbye'. We called the others from downstairs. I stood mopping my Dad's brow as he slipped away surrouned by me, my sister, my brother and my mother. We all told him we loved him as he went. They say hearing is the last thing to go...

After a while I asked the nurses to come in and tell us what we already knew; they said gently, 'he's gone, I'm so sorry', and in the beat of a wing it was over. And although I have forgotten their names I will never forget those nurses; one of them hadn't been meant to have been on duty that night, but she said she was so glad she was, so she could have been there for him. I told her that I had just arrived, and how glad I was that I and my children made it before he died, to which she said, 'he was probably waiting for you before he felt he could go', and I think that was probably the straw that broken my heart. Doing the job she did she said she had met many cases like that - that the patient sees the person they wanted to see before quickly passing over. Talking to DH later on he said that if Allah loves a person he grants them this one last mercy. Maybe it was a mercy for me and my children.

That night is etched in my memory as large and surreal. I remember hugging the nurses as they cried and thinking how odd it was to feel so much love for someone I'd only spent an hour with. I remember clipping a lock of my Dad's hair for something real to hold onto. I remember that awful bloody black bodybag being man-handled down the stairs and into the star-filled night under the inky sky and the 'special ambulance' he was rolled into. The anger I felt that I thought they weren't being gentle enough, that this precious cargo was not prime meat but my Dad. My Dad being driven away in the dead of night away from his home, his family. I remember standing bare-foot on the drive, staring at the stars, listening to the lone engine of the hearse driving into the distance. Ferrying a man away from life. I remember seeing my brother come back out of the house to hug me and bring me back in. I remember lots of hugging. Lots of hugging. Lots of kindness. And then, as there was no room at the inn, my sister and effective brother-in-law changed the bedsheets on my mother's bed, and I had to sleep in the very spot my father had died in not two hours before. And I could hear my children giggling in their beds, oblivious to the life-changing events that had just occured.

Children being children, they accepted the news of Dad's dying with characteristic acceptance. It was obvious that having children around was not what we needed just then, and I owe my brother big time for detouring a 350 mile round trip to drop my boys home before driving home himself. Lord, I couldn't have done it. Not then. I had developed a migraine and literal tunnel vision and couldn't have trusted myself behind a wheel. I kissed my babes (they, it turns out, were excited to be sitting in a kick ass Audi with DVD entertainment on demand...bye mum), and when they rounded the corner that is when I felt myself buckle - it was like someone had dropped a weight onto my shoulders and I stood and cried and cried and cried and all of a sudden my sister, who had been hanging washing in the garden and being the practical housewifey one, was hugging me. I don't know if we were hugging, or simply holding on for dear life. Everything was just as it was when Dad was alive - his papers on the windowsill, his phone on the mantle, his slippers by his chair. Oh it hurt. Opening his phone to reply to a message that Dad was dead, please pass the message on for his funeral, all welcome - I saw two unread messages from me :: Love you, Dad. Just another message to let you know I love you, in case you'd forgotten. He never read them. I hope he knew it anyway.

And the whirlwind of erasing him was both really, really long and dreadfully short at the same time. Time is weird like that when someone dies. Some things seem unbearably long, and other things take no time at all. I remember going through his papers, sorting the bureau (actually, I owe my brother nothing, I just remembered, we're even - up to my knees in policies and statements...), going into the bank with Mum to let them know she was in charge now (another kick to the stomach it turns out they were waiting for her, as Dad had gone straight into the bank after his diagnoses to let them know he was dying and that his wife had to be looked after because she'd never dealt with the finacnes before, "he told us to look after you" was the bolt that had us both aching - like a message from the old sod after his death. That was typically Dad). I remember walking down that high street thinking, 'I'm erasing my Dad' - the banks, the state pension people, the library - all were deleting him from the records. And not to mention the house - when my sister and I had finished, well, it was like he was never there. How cruel and merciless life is; everything you are that can be fit into a bin-liner and hawked in a charity shop - that's all that becomes of you.

The funeral was a cold, grey, windy day. It felt apt. I don't think I could have handled a funeral with birds chirping happily in the trees. The church was packed. Whoever I'd phoned to let them know when the funeral was did a good job. Everyone knew. They were all there.

And then, as is the case when the body is buried, people trickle away. Life goes on. It doesn't mean no one cares, but life just has a way of forging on, and that's a very good thing. I tried it. My house was suddenly very clean as I used all that sadness and transmuted it into making myself as exhausted as possible to keep the sadness out. Some days I would hold onto things of Dad's and sob my heart out, and only holding onto a trinket of his would make the pain go. Other days were fine. But you can't mourn properly when other people around you suffer.

The rest of the year has been a healing. A sadness and a healing. The shock of losing Dad so quickly, from being a patient with cancer to being dead in eight weeks it was a lot to get used to. Most of the year has been a 'walking on egg shells' or 'treading water' kind of vibe to it. We've tried to keep doing the things we do, to keep the yearly rhythm going, but there is always that accompanying tone to it all. Dad's dead. Things aren't the same really. Like carrying a stone in your pocket - you carry it with you where ever you go; sometimes you forget and put your hand in your pocket and think 'what's that? oh yeah, it's the stone', and you move on. It's always there. In your pocket.

But. Here we are at the start of a New Year. A new beginning. Unless you believe in Mayan Prophecies in which case, the end is nigh. And that's OK too, because life is for living, and that's just what we should do before we die - live. Grab it with both hands and suck the marrow out of it. Love with every ounce of love in you, and live with a rabid passion. And that's just what I feel like doing. I want to leave this world a better place than when I got here. And I want to live a life worth living before I die.

2011, you were a bit sucky, it's not your fault, but you really were. I am glad to see the back of you.
2012. Here is is. A new start. And may 2012 be The Best Year Yet!

Hoping and praying that ALL of you have the best of years. I really, really do.

Take care, friends. May all your dreams come true, may Allah bless and protect your families, may 2012 be Your Year XO

~ Debbie xx

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.: Solstice 2011 :.

2011-12-22T19:45:00.000Z

Wishing you and yours a little cosiness and warmth this season.

xx

*** *** ***

Signing Off

2011-12-19T07:22:00.000Z

Hello : Goodbye

I'm signing off blogging for a little while. Hopefully I will be back in this space in the new year (2012!? Eek!!). I'm feeling run-down, under-the-weather, uninspired and all that jazz. Maybe a break from a few things will do me some good.

I leave you with some links, though.

The Whole Food Kitchen Online Workshop - starts 6. Feb. registration is open now - 'bring a friend' offer is still open for a few more days, so why not gift someone you love to the workshop too?

Monkey Business - my sister's blog. Why not go and say 'hi', I know she'd appreciate it. She's also opened an online store because she make so many stuffies she's running out of people to give them to! Knock Your Socks Off is her store...

Flora and Purl is making me feel all homely and warm. Why not pop by and soak up some granny chic goodness too?

If you just want some eye candy, then drop by my Pinterest Boards and Flickr Favourites for an uplifting mood buzz...

Dottie Angel continues to inspire. Go and say 'hi' and check out her 12 days of joyfulness tutorials.

And finally, my store, still open. Will add some new things in the new year.... keep popping back...

Wishing you all a peaceful Christmastime and New Year. May 2012 be our best year yet!

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{this moment}

2011-12-16T07:29:00.000Z

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

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Shop :: Open

2011-12-15T07:10:00.004Z

A few things added to the latest shop update. If I add any more items I will let you know. Hope you like it!

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The Best time for Birdwatching...

2011-12-14T07:45:00.000Z

It's freezing, oh my goodness, it really is. However, with no leaves on the trees and hungry tummies tempted to the free food in front of the hides, it is an excellent time for bird watching out there in the forest. It is also a good time for me to think about zoom lenses.... really need something better than this 18-55mm VR lens... Picnik can only do so much...

We have all the books, the binoculars, the interest and the view... apart from thermal underwear and a flask of coffee, what more could a girl want...

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Let it Snow

2011-12-13T07:41:00.000Z

Tired of waiting for it, we made our own ... the obligatory paper snowflake craft for this time of year - using paper doilies and lovely shiny gift-wrapping cord to create a curtain of falling flakes....

Very seasonal. Have you and your babes made yours yet?

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There's No Place Like it....

2011-12-12T07:35:00.000Z

Being greatly inspired by Ms. D. Angel and having turned my little work space into a most productive niche the past few days, I took the time to make a little something for our home that has been rolling around my noggin sporadically for a good few months.

Using a lovely vintage tray linen as my frame I happily spent a good while in front of Inspector Morse and DI Jack Frost first picking out lovely vintage fabrics, then ironing the bondaweb interfacing and finally sewing and hand stitching the words "Lord, Bless this HOME, sweet HOME". Which Granny never had a 'bless this home' thing going on somewhere in her hallway? A philistine Granny, that's who. Honouring the granny and giving it a modern twist, this linen fabric whatnot garland has a sentiment that means a lot to me. Having a peaceful and God-conscious home, and having HOME at the centre of everything.

Moving on.

Still giddy with the success of my bondaweb prowess on the table linen, I spied, at the very, very bottom of my fabric shelves a sad little piece of forlorn fabric that once shone as a beautiful woollen shawl that kept me warm when I were a lass at Cambridge. Many a winter morn spent scurrying over Parker's Piece past Reality Checkpoint was made bearable by swaddling myself in this woollen shawl - wrapping me up and keeping the bitterest winds at bay.

Sadly, we had a little accident with the washing machine, and for years her crumpled, discarded body lay retired and forgotten, waiting for an idea to grab me so that I could repurpose her into a new career of usefulness.

And this weekend it so happened that an idea of unbearable brilliance, probably instigated by hours in front of Pinterest, hit me. Cutting up vintage (of course) scraps of fabric I made my own bias, cut the shawl into a rectangle and sewed the bias on. Ta da! Instant blanket. Yes. Another one.

But it was missing something.... it needed a little va-va-voom. And that is where the idea of HOME made its second appearance - a few more minutes with bondaweb and some lovely modern fabric, a little bit of stitchery what-have-you and I present you with a useful throw to keep the babes warm...

Heart warming chintzy schmultz. No place like it...

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Interview

2011-12-10T18:04:00.000Z

If you have time, please drop on over to Sakyna magazine blog to read an interview with me about Seasonal Living and Learning.

Thankyou!

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{this moment}

2011-12-09T07:54:00.000Z

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

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Granny Granny

2011-12-08T07:30:00.002Z

There seems to be an increase in granny related crochet around these parts. I'm finding the craft speedy and pretty as I search for warmth now that winter has decided it really will fall this year.

I admit it; these relatively warm weeks have lulled me into a laziness and a false belief that we have enough blankets, mittens, scarves, cosies etc etc BUT WE DO NOT - we never will. Never will the need to make blankets leave my mind until I have a house bundled to the rafters with them like those mad women who collect newspapers and when they die firefighters have to force their way into the building and hack a tunnel through the amassed paper to retrieve the body (imagination running away with me ... chocolate rush, I apologise) before they discover that she died from a column of newspaper falling on her crushing her to death. That will be my fate. Except with blankets - I will suffocate on quilts and blankets and my life will be held up as a moral - not as a shining example, but as a terrible warning.

Unless global warming lulls me into a false sense of security by making winter so warm that I am too busy making fly swats to make slippers. Like this year. Winter just crept up so sneakily, and now I am playing catch up - knitting much too slow - we are sewing and crocheting our way to cosiness.

I don't think crochet will ever replace my love for knitting, but it's coming pretty damn close...

Now must make blankets, and covers and mittens, oh my!

*** *** ***

Back Out There

2011-12-07T07:29:00.000Z

It never fails to blow the cobwebs away. Whatever we're doing, whatever's going on, we know a day in the forest is sometimes the best medicine there is...

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Move over, mama

2011-12-06T07:20:00.000Z

This past week the boys took over my craft space for a little impromtu sewing session. The midget was determined he wanted to sew something, and we decided that a little camera case each would be easy and useful.

With minimal help the boys chose their fabric, designed and then ran these pouches up in no time. The result of which is a desire to make more things, a request to borrow the machine whenever they want, a plan to sew a toy cat and an idea to make things for other people.

As usual I am impressed by them. They never fail to make me proud... But having my machine merely on loan from the boys? Not so sure....

*** *** ***

I. Need. Fabric. *

2011-12-05T07:55:00.002Z

In some ways this recent fabric buying spree was rather like the proverbial Number 11 bus... you wait hours and hours for one, then two turn up at the same time. Well, in this case it's been years (maybe months, it feels like years) since I bought a decent stash of fabric, and I went a bit mental. Observe ::

Not that I'm complaining. I think a bit of a boost for the fabric shelves can only be a good thing... you never know when you will need your body weight in fabric for a crafting emergency. I like to think of it as crafting survival skills. The self justification going on in my head can make this blatant splurge seem like the deal of the century, but I like the new colours currently blazing awaiting their moment to shine....

* Like I need a hole in my head

*** *** ***

(This moment)

2011-12-02T13:35:00.002Z

Happy Bundles - Thrifted Treasures

2011-12-01T07:23:00.004Z

It struck me recently that I haven't shared any of my thrifting treasures here for while. It is true I fell off the thrifting pony a while back there; I had more important things to worry about, but the last few weeks have seen a steady stream of pretty little what-nots and must-haves entering our little house. So sharing is caring, here are a few mug shots... and even cup-shots....

Nice little hauls make my heart happy... :)

*** *** ***

Getting Organised

2011-11-30T07:03:00.000Z

Can there be a more uninspiring, dispiriting sight than that?! Tidy house, tidy mind in my opinion. I've been all over the place emotionally lately - can you tell? Yeah, so wanting to get back on track one way to sort the head out is to sort the house out...

Just having organised, neat, clean places to work has had the effect of reinvigorating my need to make things and to be creative. I feel like I want to make something everyday, just like the good old days. It has also made me feel like there might be some method in this madhouse, and that I might actually get my act together before the kids leave home...

Now if we could just afford to get the hoover fixed I might even be able to eradicate crunchy carpets too... I dream big dreams, people...

*** *** ***

I Wonder Why...

2011-11-29T07:43:00.000Z

Have you ever been asked a question by a child at an inopportune time? Maybe dinner is about to land on the table, or you're just out of the door, or maybe with the best will in the world you just don't know the answer... I get a lot of questions about many things that pop into the heads of my babes throughout the day - which is the biggest lake in the world? which is the biggest land predator? how is rubber made? where is the solar system going... there is no method to it - just whatever pops into their head or has been triggered off by something we are learning at the time.

Amanda Soule has this 'I Wonder Why' board tutorial in her latest book 'The Rhythm of the Family' and after months of writing questions down on scraps of paper (and losing them) I thought it was about time that we had one as well.

And as you would imagine it was an easy make - I used an old pin board, some batting/wadding and a lovely cotton print stapled directly on the frame, then criss-crossed bias over the board and stapled that in place too to create the spaces for the boys' written questions. And when the time is right, we get the board and find the right books or even ask Mr. Google and so with minimal effort everyone's questions are finally answered.

Ready for the next batch....

Genius.

*** *** ***

String of Images

2011-11-28T07:32:00.000Z

Last week after a batch of real photographs landed on our doorstep I felt the need to add some more recent pictures of our adventures to our Season Wall. The problem was a) I didn't really want to have to buy or thrift any more frames and b) there wasn't any space left to put any even if I did!

No worries - I quickly ran this garland of images up using cellotape, red cotton bias and a bulldog clip - easy to make, easy to change and easy to hang. And if fills an awkward corner too. I think I will be making more of these, perhaps not as long, for other spaces too.

Why not give them a go for a neglected space in your home?

*** *** ***

Busy Making

2011-11-25T07:31:00.000Z

Lots and lots of things are happily tumbling out of this work space of mine. It involves an inordinate amount of doilies, lots of french knots, quite a hefty gross weight of vintage fabric, the odd bit of Liberty print and mod podge, and not an insignficant dose of crochet... and I'm not done yet!

I think we can assume that there will be a shop update in the not so distant future insha'allah. Details to follow.

*** *** ***

Sick Note

2011-11-22T07:46:00.000Z

Waving the white flag here for a few days. I'm calling in sick and have brought a note from my mummy explaining.

Have a good week. Hope to be back here in this space soon.

xx

*** *** ***

Be Afraid... Be VERY Afraid...

2011-11-21T07:14:00.000Z

They are learning how to booby trap my house... sensors, alarms, tricks played on mama in the middle of the night... all in the name of education...

One day it will all be worth it... right?

*** *** ***

Weekending

2011-11-19T13:16:00.000Z

We have sun. We had fog. We are cold and warming up. My house is tidy, my sewing machine stands ready and I'm feeling stitchy! Sometimes a day ahead full of possibilities can lift the spirits so much.

Have a great weekend, people! xx

*** *** ***

{this moment}

2011-11-18T07:22:00.000Z

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

*** *** ***

A Happy Little Trio

2011-11-17T07:29:00.000Z

I'm getting a bit slap happy with the Mod Podge and glue gun around these parts. Lace, ribbon, fabric - it's been liberally applied to everything that sits still long enough for the glue to dry. Have a pulse? No? Then you shall be doilified and fabricised. (Those are words. Now.)

I can see you are impressed. They're votives, in case you are wondering. Duh, like lanterns for putting candles in. Or something like that. Does it matter? They're pretty. Case closed.

I will be attempting to cover my husband in Liberty prints and doilies as he sits trying to mind his own business. Watch this space....

*** *** ***

Lap Blanket Evolution

2011-11-15T07:38:00.005Z

According to Flickr I've been making lap blankets for nearly three years now. Amazing. Amazing, that even though I still consider myself new to crafting, I'm actually several years into it, and amazing because, well, I thought it was only a few months ago that I made these. Actually they were made in 2009. Time. Is. Flying.

2009. And soon it will be 2012. It beggars belief. I have made several lap blankets like these for people I know and love, but as yet never sold one. (I did try, but after making two declared I couldn't part with them and kept them. I'm not very good at this am I??). I still have Tif's words ringing in my ears everytime I make another to give away ("have you ever considered selling these sweeties? your lap blankets are truly beautiful and i find myself in quite the lusty state when i look upon them :)") - how is that for praise and encouragement?! I actually never even thought about making these to sell until this moment, but I think 2012 is going to be the year I make a blanket and do not keep it. Yes. It is a challenge the like of Mount Everest to me - to place a lovely doily on a vintage fabric and give it away... but to put it in a shop and let it be inspected by the world? It will test my doily-loving mettle for sure.

But really, three years in the making? It's time, isn't it?

*** *** ***

Cosy Toes Slipper Pattern

2011-11-14T16:05:00.000Z

I'm annoyed with myself. Having to put the ezine into still pause mode has made me feel like a failure. I hate hate hate not finishing what I start, but it's a feeling I know only too well as a mother with other things on her mind.

This pattern had been meant to be part of the Winter Edition - homemade slippers for any sized feet for you family. They honestly are the cosiest slippers I've ever worn, and after making a set for the midget I heard him tell his brother, 'these are the bestest slippers EVER, honestly - EVERYONE in the WORLD should have them'. I don't know if he was trying to rub it in because I haven't made the eldest a pair yet (hello, winter weather energy levels slump), but it was mighty high praise from someone who acually has detested socks or slippers on his feet since he was born...

Trying to salvage something of the effort I put into the winter edition I'm offering the pattern for sale over at my pattern shop. Currently on sale for very reasonable introductory sum of £1.90 (I will be raising this price soon) this pattern is one for all - you will be able to make a pair for your whole family with just one pattern.

And perhaps a free pattern for the tutorial page sometime in the week.

*** *** ***

{this moment}

2011-11-11T12:12:00.000Z

The Guide to Thrifting Vintage Furniture

2011-11-10T07:06:00.002Z

There are many practical considerations when thrifting furniture, or indeed thrifting anything. The first is, what is it? There are many beautiful follies out there that look good but have no real practical application in real life. Telephone tables spring to mind...

The second is size - will it fit in your teeny tiny built-for-midgets ghetto terraced town house? Oft times the answer is 'no. of course it won't, even *people* don't fit in your teeny tiny built-for-midgets ghetto terraced town house'. Time to walk away making mental notes of where you put it in your dream home/farm one day in the future. If you have a storage space you may want to think of squirrelling the piece away for such an eventuality...

Third, how much is it? Will Mr. Piggy Bank stretch that far? The beauty of thrifted furniture is 'yes, I can afford it hurrah'.

Fourthly, do you LOVE it? This is the most important question of all. Think about it. Do not make a mistake for if you do it will haunt you for the rest of your life. If you walk away you may end up waking up sweating with nightmares at 2am and then you will have to go back to the store at the crack of dawn and wait for it to open and just hope against hope your beloved is still there. If it is still there then it was meant to be. If not, it wasn't meant to be but this will eat you alive for the rest of your born days...... just saying

Finally - do you need it, but honestly this is a silly question and I very rarely even make it this far down the list.

So, let's do a practical test shall we? The evidence::

I think we can agree right there that this was meant to be. Case closed.

It fits.

It is affordable.

I do love it so with all my little heart.

Thus ergo I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed it.

I am a happy little bunny with the sideboard I have been looking for for a long long time and not a bit of laminate or formica in sight. Bliss.

Now, go forth and thrift yourself into nirvana. I will be here waiting to hear about your finds....

*** *** ***

Peachy AND Perfect

2011-11-09T12:43:00.001Z

If you have never visited dear old Tif, then stop what you are doing and do so now. For Tif Fussell is the veritable queen of granny chic and her gleeful handiwork will lift your gloom no matter how hard winter is trying to kill you early.

I dip in and out of Dottie Angel as and when. Right now I'm dipped, and to cheer myself up this past Eid I bought myself a present (see above) - her book, "Dottie Angel the Peachy Crafty World of Tif Fussell". Page after page after page of vintage goodness and lovely handiwork. Her blog in book format to be sure, but a joy to flick through.

Usually when I buy things it never lives up to its hype but this book is just beautiful beginning to end. I hope one day to join the ranks of my granny dears like Tif and Ted and Agnes, and I pore over the Flickr Granny Chic mesmerized. And never once do I leave empty handed - the colour, the detail and the joy of these women's crafting is infectious and I am always buoyed by the experience.

{and on another note you should see my kick ass thrifted vintage sideboard I bought yesterday - Facebook friends you can have a sneaky peek - but the rest of you wait 'til tomorrow!!}

This book can be purchased direct from Tif's etsy store, Dottie Angel.

*** *** ***

They Like to Help

2011-11-08T11:13:00.000Z

What would I do without my little yarn winders....?

*** *** ***

Bonfire Night Traditions

2011-11-07T07:50:00.001Z

Looking forward to bonfire night is one of the few things that keep me sane (and I use that term advisedly given my delicate mental state) at this time of year. The boys really look forward to fireworks. Last year we had a steam train ride to the venue, a fair, a fire and the fireworks. This year in the name of austerity that venue was cancelled and we found ourselves somewhere we hadn't been before.

Part of our tradition around this time centres on food. Mainly toffee. And gingerbread. This year the boys took charge and a jar full of little gingerbread men is slowly being munched through.

After being the one who organises things it is so nice to see my little people take charge of our traditions and to carry them on, often when I would like to forget about them altogehter and just spend the evening in front of a DVD. Their excitement is invigorating.

*** *** ***

{this moment}

2011-11-04T07:52:00.000Z

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

*** *** ***

Seasonal Living & Learning :: Still Pause

2011-11-03T15:41:00.001Z

I'm waving the white flag. For reasons I don't really want to dwell on here for their negativity I just want to admit that I'm not superwoman and I can't do it all. Seasonal Living & Learning is going into hibernation for a while until I can work out something a little more workable than me running myself into the ground for nothing more than a mediocre result. I have high hopes for a reincarnation, until then, these images sum up what's going on. I'm sure you get it.

Some refocussing going on.

Thanks, friends.

*** *** ***

If ever...

2011-11-02T07:15:00.000Z

If ever I redecorate, or by some miracle, get the Farm of My Dreams, I think these prints by Roddy & Ginger will have to make their way onto a wall or two...

Check out the blog too for more inspiration. {Thanks to Manda for link love there.}

For more house & home dreaming you can see what is making me smile these days by checking out my Pinterest boards House & Home and Farm Life. Dreams at least are free, right?

*** *** ***

Yarn Obsessions pt. 2

2011-11-01T07:21:00.000Z

I've always got a stash of yarn, just like I've got a stash of fabric. There is nothing so disheartening as wanting to make something and not having anything to hand.

A lot of the yarn stash is sock yarn, and a lot is gifts from friends and family (love you!), but last week after my moan about not being able to afford yarn I was very naughty and just bought some to cheer myself up. I can't quite remember the justification process but by the end of all my self talk I was quite convinced yarn was absolutely necessary and I went straight ahead and picked some Cascade 220 to finish off another UFO floating around my WIP pile, and a couple skeins of Louet Riverstone in 'Mustard'.

I admit it; I was sold on the name - the colour on the monitor looked to be juuuust what I wanted... but turns out they meant Dijon and not English. Hm.

Never one to be deterred in matters of fabric or yarn, I have my eyes on some Quince & Co in honey, or if I suddenly come into money, some Madelinetosh Prairie in Candlewick (could this finally be the colour I have been searching for?).

But until then I will work the yarn I have and make a concerted effort to like it. Despite my picky colour nature I'm sure that won't be at all hard...

*** *** ***

Getting into Autumn

2011-10-31T07:43:00.000Z

Inspired so very much by this image by Erin (isn't it beautiful? she takes amazing shots) we decided that it was time we made room for autumn in our home by sprucing up the sitting room and welcoming the season in with a little more grace than we had been doing.

So one afternoon family art time was spent making a simple, rustic garland that the boys took great pride in making and a string of leaves that dance and swirl like falling leaves with any breeze. We might add more strings of leaves as our nature walks continue. It would make the bay window a little more dramatic, don't you think?

It's amazing what a few scraps of fabric and some thread can achieve...

*** *** ***

Weekending

2011-10-29T14:18:00.001+01:00

Best laid plans. We were supposed to be pumpkin picking at the farm, but the wheels are about to fall off the car (really). So we're doing this instead.

Hope your weekend is full of fun!

*** *** ***

{this moment}

2011-10-28T07:30:00.000+01:00

*** *** ***

Yarn Obsessions

2011-10-27T07:56:00.002+01:00

I am itching for knitting time. I do try to knit whenever there is a spare moment, but there is one drawback to knitting (for me) - my reach exceeds my grasp, or something like that. I cannot afford the yarn I would happily spend my winter munching through.

I have lists of things I would happily knit - people I would happily for. But I have to use my pennies wisely and pick my projects with one eye on my paypal balance (£0.00 in case you were wondering...)

And to top it all off, the yarn I do have on these sticks I'm not even liking all that much. I don't like green things on me so why did I buy it this spruce colour at all?? I don't know.

I really have to learn to spin. Soon.

What's on your sticks these days?

*** *** ***

Creating a ripple...

2011-10-26T06:57:00.000+01:00

One stitch at a time, line after line, and eventually you get this - a ripple cowl. I've been toying with the idea of having a shop update at some point. I have cowls and warmers on my mind...

*** *** ***

:: exhale ::

2011-10-25T07:26:00.002+01:00

It had meant to have been a day of meeting up with friends. It had meant to have been a day of work. It had meant to have been a day of housework, and chores, and cooking and cleaning, and looming deadlines. I was feeling tetchy. Something felt stale. Having plans broken really was the saving of the day - it was time to ditch the to-do list...

... in two minutes we were heading out to the forest. Within two minutes of arriving at the forest we were well off the beaten track, finding our own games in our own space in our own world. And I noticed that I began to breathe deeply. I exhaled forcefully and audibly. It kept happening, involuntarily. These trees were weaving their magic again. Within minutes I was centred, revived, zoned out and clear headed.

We stayed off track all day. We came back tired and hungry and happy.

We came home having truly breathed.

*** *** ***

The Old-Fashioned Way

2011-10-24T07:20:00.002+01:00

I have a swift. I have a yarn winder. But here I am winding yarn the old-fashioned way.

That's what happens when you can't wait to get started with yarn....

*** *** ***

{this moment}

2011-10-21T07:40:00.002+01:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

*** *** ***

Scenes From My Kitchen

2011-10-20T07:51:00.000+01:00

Oh this small, dark, gloomy, cramped kitchen of mine. This small, cosy, warm, busy kitchen that is the heart of our home.

We dance around each other like ballerinas, or perhaps Morris Dancers, reaching for shelves, stirring a pot, finding the apple corer, grabbing a bowl. And somehow, we make it work.

It's not perfect and like you I dream of better - a whole kitchen just for cooking with the dining in a whole different room?? Crazy dreams.

But from our kitchen this week ::

:: Lots of organic vegetables cunningly disguised so my carnivores might ingest something other than meat.

:: Broccoli soup? Yes! Yum!

:: Kale quiche.

:: Vegetable lasagne - I had no idea carrots could be so versatile...

:: Apple crumble. Apple pie. Apple tart. Apple.

:: Homemade sweeties - they make their own and that's OK with me

:: Roast dinners. Very necessary.

:: Spaghetti Bolognese - how much mess can children make... give them a plate of spaghetti and find out!

:: And the never-ending basics of scones, biscuits and granola...

... they all somehow manage to get churned out of this little, tiny, dark, cramped space as we work together to make it happen.

Have any recipes you'd care to share?

*** *** ***

Daylight

2011-10-19T07:45:00.000+01:00

There is no mistaking what time of year it is. By mid-afternoon crazy light starts casting long shadows and gloom descends. We're playing by lamplight again. The blankets are on the knees. Where once I would be out fussing over the vegetables or flowers, that time is now spent on knitting. With hot tea. Of course.

It's a smidgen off a quarter to winter. The light tells me so... and as much as my delicate mental balance blanches at the thought of a whole season ahead filled with gloom, I hope the cosy that we make and find in our days kinda makes up for it...

*** *** ***

Book Review :: Patch! by Cath Kidston

2011-10-18T07:34:00.000+01:00

I'm not going to lie to you. This book makes me giddy. Opening its pages and flicking through the plethora of images soothes my nerves on fraught days - I mean look at it! You'd have to be a philistine not to zone out with all that shabby chic goodness.

Like the rest of the books in this series Patch! comes with all the things you need to make the tote on the front cover. It covers all the basics and provides inspiration in bucket-loads and there are more projects than you could shake a stick at - all of which I want to make! And that should tell you something. A lot of craft books have one or two things which appeal but the rest are fillers. Not so this gem - every single thing is making itch to get back to my machine. And of all the books in this series this is by far the best in my opinion.

I genuinely love this book and if you are into patchwork and quilting, or maybe even on the brink of dabbling a toe in it's waters, this book will go a long way to inspiring and helping you.

Patch! by Cath Kidston out now.
RRP £16.00
Amazon Price & free delivery £8.29

Worth every penny.

*** *** ***

These walls of ours...

2011-10-17T07:01:00.002+01:00

A year or so ago I nailed these crates to our sitting room wall for somewhere to display nick-nacks. I really love them, they have a rustic charm and they have turned a large, boring flat space into something more engaging.

But still, there was something missing... Of course, a plethora of prints! And so with the help of arty friends, some of my own images and etsy finds I created our 'seasonal wall' - Images that keep us in tune with the outside when we are in the very heart of our home.

I think it works somehow. A hotch-potch of nick-nacks and granny things with a little modern tweek.

*** *** ***

{this moment}

2011-10-14T07:45:00.001+01:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

*** *** ***

Day Off

2011-10-13T14:52:00.000+01:00

I'm having a day off blogging today. I have very important things to do today. Chinese checkers being just one.

See you tomorrow for {this moment} and then hopefully back on Monday.

Have a great weekend!

*** *** ***

Remnants of a day...

2011-10-12T07:54:00.000+01:00

Some days I get to the end of it and wonder what we've actually achieved. I stress that we're not doing 'enough'. I'm sure all parents have this re-occuring nightmare that our actions, or lack thereof, are going to damage our children for LIFE.

So, to keep it real, a few snapshots, a reality check, and a checklist of gratitude...

We sat and concentrated on learning to read and write and do maths. I must remember to be superhuman and make room for never ending art in the afternoon. Usually by lunch I'm toasted... :: I am grateful for the space to learn together, as messy as it is.

I kept sane by rumaging through my yarn stash and pattern file. Playing with yarn is like stroking a cat.... it soothes my shattered nerves... :: I am so grateful for my yarn and the ability to knit.

My children kept up with their never ending obsession with Hero Factory and made my ears bleed by their none-stop none-stop talking about endless variations of each model they have, the stories behind them and their utter love and devotion for them. This is where the knitting comes in useful - it can zone me out so their litany of praise for plastic seems like a pleasant drone in the background. Or if that doesn't work I can ram the needles in my eyes to end the pain... :: I am grateful for... lego? Well, it keeps them quiet while I have a cup of joe.

The midget demanded games. Until I begged for mercy :: I am grateful for his love of gaming.

I went to sit at my sewing machine. This shot is the acceptable face of my work space. To give you some idea of the unacceptable face - the sewing machine sits under a mountain of fabric, files and pads of paper and I can no longer reach the cabinet or printer. I went and did more knitting :: grateful for this (very very small) space of mine (all mine!).

And when the knitting ran dry, embroidery. I like this sashiko pattern. A lot. I hope I will finish this project - a present - before the recipient of my love DIES :: I am grateful for the people in my life who inspire me in so many ways.

There is beauty in there somewhere.

*** *** ***

Taking a lesson

2011-10-11T07:46:00.003+01:00

This castle dates from the 11th Century. That's as about as old as you find ruins without them being prehistoric.

When this castle was born England as we know it hadn't really taken shape, and it was shaped in part due to the Norman invasion of which this castle was a result. To bolster their power the Normans wisely built fortress keeps, castles, to withstand mutiny and rebellion. Powerhouses, seats of Kings and Queens, decision makers and shakers - they all walked these steps and lived in these walls. Their power was a given, as sure as the sun rising in the East and setting in the West. They really had no competition and were a fierce and intelligent people, famed for their martial prowess and later their christian piety. They were famed for their culture and were a great influence in all Crusader States. I love this description of them by 11th century Benedictine monk and historian, Geoffrey Malaterra:

"They were, moreover, a race skillful in flattery, given to the study of eloquence, so that the very boys were orators, a race altogether unbridled unless held firmly down by the yoke of justice. They were enduring of toil, hunger, and cold whenever fortune laid it on them, given to hunting and hawking, delighting in the pleasure of horses, and of all the weapons and garb of war."

I remember this whenever we come here. The boys love to play in these ruins - which boy never played knights and Kings and queens? Which boy never dreamed of being Robin Hood? As they scrabble up to look out the windows, marvelling at how they are wider inside than outside, imagining arrows aimed at their heads and how they would fire back unfettered by the small windows, I look around and take stock.

Where are they now, these mighty men? Where are their certainties? The stone walls withstood any attack that man could throw at it, but defenceless against the assault of Time. Men who fought off any enemy yet could not avert their own demise. As sure as night follows day.

My nana used to say, when one of us was fretting over (to her) a silly matter, 'Oh Debbie! In a hundred years, who's going to care??!'. It was that kind of perspective that always kept her feet on the ground, kept her cheerful even when she was sad.

And I think it too. Quite often. Especially when we are in places like this - my worries melt away and I'm left with Realities - the things that DO matter, the things that WILL count in a hundred years. And often they are not the things stressing me out right now, but generally the things I try to forget about altogether. How am I living my life? What happens when I die? What am I leaving behind? How am I raising my children? When I die and leave the world behind and take only my deeds and my soul with me in what state will they be?

People busy their lives away imagining they are doing great and important things; they build grand schemes and mighty walls, but in hundreds of years they count for nothing. Where are they now, these mighty men? And in what state were their affairs when they came face to face with Reality?

And, more importantly, ... in what state will mine be?

*** *** ***