A state of loss, and a choice...

It struck me the other day, as I was sitting in the car at one of the various sports class, at how man is generally in a state of inheriting or bequeathing, and never really owning. We inherit the Earth from those who lived before us, we inherit our language, culture, world, houses, jobs, money - most things were held by those before us. And as we hurtle around the star we know as 'Sun' we ultimately leave it all behind for others to inherit too. We own nothing. We chase shadows. As soon as we capture anything it is lost.

Jesus the Messiah (who is a Prophet of ours in Islam) said, "This world is a bridge, so pass over it and do not build your house upon it". We come from one place, and we are journeying, willingly or not, to another. The process in between is what we call 'life'. And in the function of living we are dying. A bridge is a tool to get from A to B, it is not a place to rest; you either stay in A or you goto B, but you do not build your house on the bridge. This life is not something to rest upon.

As I sat in the car last week watching, with a deep sadness in my gut, heart and soul about this reality of loss hitting home, watching people and families milling around me all I could see were people loosely connected, about to have their hearts filled with joy and then sorrow. People close who will be torn apart. People waiting to be hit by a bus, made mad with dementia or given a canker that rots them from the inside. And the people they love will come face to face with this state of loss. They will have to realise they dont own the relationship of love. They cannot be safe from time. And all we can do is gently try to hold onto joy for as long as we can, before the inevitable comes, like hands that try to grasp a drink of water to quench an insatiable thirst - if they clasp too hard the water is lost, all they can try to do is cup the water gently and sip quickly before the water trickles through the fingers back into the earth. Or it is like a swarm of flies - try to grab them to trap and capture them and they disperse all the more; but be quiet in their midst, be gentle and silent and be content to just observe, and you may entice them to settle for a while.

"(I swear) by Time, man is in a state of loss...." The Qur'an, Chapter Al-Asr

We are completely in a state of poverty. We are needy creatures who have no power to avert our neediness. We cannot undo the powers over us. We cannot create, all we can do, at best, is take what is already given in this universe and manipulate it into something beautiful; this is what mankind calls 'creating'. He cannot fathom time into existence, nor can he make an atom from nothing, he cannot undo what is past and he cannot escape what is to come. All we do is manipulate and try to weave something beautiful out of the strands we have been given.

Muhammad (Saw) was told "live how you want to live, and love what you want to love but you will leave it all behind". To be truly content we must love that which never dies, and be accepting of the rest. We are constanly in a state of loss.

The best amongst us are those who are awake to it and who prepare themselves for the inevitable. Those who pass over the bridge. We are like babes in the womb - we think this is all there is - how would you explain adulthood in this world to a fetus in the womb? How would you explain a rainbow? But the babe dies to the womb-world and is born into this. And we are the same, but we just don't realise it, or we deny it, or we run from it - from this world we die and we will be 'born' into another, whether we like it or not.


And I suppose there is a vast difference between living in denial and escaping from truth by distraction, and actually living with the burden of fact and choosing to be joyful regardless.

I was reminded of this yesterday when I read Erin's thoughts on 'choice', and although sometimes the sadness and grief can be overwhelming, and cut deep, and be hard to bear, in moments of reprieve we have to grasp at the handhold that never breaks to pull ourselves free from spiralling sadness and into a world of peaceful acceptance, and at the best of times, genuine joy.

So. Consciously choosing to see the rainbow instead of the rain, whilst still accepting the storm ahead, here is a post about 'choosing'. Those of you so inspired can join Erin on a year-long 'Year of Choice' ::

:: The Messy Kitchen







I have a disorganised, messy kitchen and the stove needs cleaned. But today I chose to enjoy having a whistling kettle that calls the babes in for a cup of tea...




:: It is seriously cold in our new room



But today I chose to be thankful for the cheap thermometer, the excitement the babes have in rushing to read it everyday, and for the ability to keep warm in other ways. Oh, and if I'm going to moan about the cold? I can now at least be accurate in my whining ...




:: Uninspiring...

I can't quite get my art table to look this inspirational, but today I choose to see the happiness my boys have with what they have...






:: Being Talentless

I feel totally inadequate in the face of so many artistic, creative, resourceful people in the world. Manda, for just about everything she turns her hand to, as well as her strength of character; Geninne, for *everything* she creates; Margaret in amazing beauty in minimal simplicity.

But today I was happy just to be able to have their beauty in my life, even if I can't recreate it myself.






:: General Mess

I was about to bemoan the constant state of aggravated burglary that threatens to engulf the house. Instead today I saw imaginary worlds, contented play, and beautiful colour. Even if it means I can't get the hoover round the sitting room...








It doesn't dull the pain of loss, or ease the ache of grief and worry, but being in a state of consciously chosen gratitude really does shift the universe up a notch.


What about you? What do you choose to be grateful for today?

*** *** ***