My house is a mess. My bedroom is piled high with clothes, books, paper, files, homeschool resources and dust. There is a bed in the middle with bedclothes that haven't made it to the washing machine for a good while, and in all honesty I don't really care, I dive into and off it when I want to goto sleep or get up. My windows have mould, I can't see the printer or sewing machine and I haven't managed to get into my wardrobe for months with the crap blocking the door.
I go downstairs. On the way I am met with PJs and discarded clothes that haven't been put away or in the laundry basket for days. And I'm tired of nagging so it has piled up until my next assault.
The sitting room needs hoovering, but there are toys all over the floor and that battle will have to wait til after the kitchen.
Oy, the kitchen. The dishes have been kindly piled up to the taps as I had spent all day (literally ALL day) out yesterday taxiing the eldest to rugby tournaments. And I'm met with a prospect of rearranging the sink to get to the taps before I can have a up of tea before I can tackle the crap. The table is crudded up and the floor is crunchy. And if I mention this to anyone I am accused of having victim mentality, and anger arises as I try to garner ownership of responsibility for helping out with the chores. The atmosphere changes and hatred has infused the house before verbal abuse starts.
Now on top of the physical shit, I have psychological and emotional shit to deal with as well. And I haven't even got to the bathroom yet...
This is the start to the day. I haven't even planned meals or decided what we are learning today.
Did you enjoy reading that? Would you like to read that everyday? I wouldn't. I think if I had to write that everyday I'd slash my wrists. So instead I come here, open the laptop, squint my eyes and see the good things, put them down on paper, and force them to the front of the memory making part of my brain. I selectively remember, because perhaps we all do that really - we all decide to be positive or not - and this is all part of my survival technique.
There is beauty here. There has to be.