Monday 22 November 2010

Slithers of Reality :: Why I Blog

My house is a mess. My bedroom is piled high with clothes, books, paper, files, homeschool resources and dust. There is a bed in the middle with bedclothes that haven't made it to the washing machine for a good while, and in all honesty I don't really care, I dive into and off it when I want to goto sleep or get up. My windows have mould, I can't see the printer or sewing machine and I haven't managed to get into my wardrobe for months with the crap blocking the door.

I go downstairs. On the way I am met with PJs and discarded clothes that haven't been put away or in the laundry basket for days. And I'm tired of nagging so it has piled up until my next assault.

The sitting room needs hoovering, but there are toys all over the floor and that battle will have to wait til after the kitchen.

Oy, the kitchen. The dishes have been kindly piled up to the taps as I had spent all day (literally ALL day) out yesterday taxiing the eldest to rugby tournaments. And I'm met with a prospect of rearranging the sink to get to the taps before I can have a up of tea before I can tackle the crap. The table is crudded up and the floor is crunchy. And if I mention this to anyone I am accused of having victim mentality, and anger arises as I try to garner ownership of responsibility for helping out with the chores. The atmosphere changes and hatred has infused the house before verbal abuse starts.

Now on top of the physical shit, I have psychological and emotional shit to deal with as well. And I haven't even got to the bathroom yet...

This is the start to the day. I haven't even planned meals or decided what we are learning today.

Did you enjoy reading that? Would you like to read that everyday? I wouldn't. I think if I had to write that everyday I'd slash my wrists. So instead I come here, open the laptop, squint my eyes and see the good things, put them down on paper, and force them to the front of the memory making part of my brain. I selectively remember, because perhaps we all do that really - we all decide to be positive or not - and this is all part of my survival technique.

There is beauty here. There has to be.

22 comments:

  1. i hear you. i am a lot like that, we all focus on the beauty, and that's a good thing. no one has a perfect life, but sometimes it's just so much nicer to ignore the mess and imperfections. focus on the happiness, the little moments.
    <3

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  2. Slm alkm Debbie,

    Relax, breathe deeply. Your house will always be a mess as long as you've got kids around. Mine is, to my great despair. I whinge, I cry and mumble horrible things that nobody can hear all day long because of the state of my house. Now and again I throw tantrums and lock myself in my bedroom, refusing to see anyone because I'm had enough of everything.
    But after a while I calm down and tell myself that it's not a big deal. We can't do everything, something gotta give and in our case, it's always the housework. It's the curse of the modern housewife. We feel guilty if we clean 'cos we should be playing with the kids and we feel guilty if we spend our time with the kiddo 'cos we should be cleaning, tidying up etc etc. Bottom line: relax, no one with kids can have a perfectly maintained house (especially if you homeschool as you're always in the house!!!). Cheers.

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  3. I suppose I am explaining why this blog is the way it is and why I've called it what it is. This isn't my life, I only blog the good things.

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  4. Hear..Hear...Alhamdullilah for blogosphere...ironically I had to LOL on this post it's like reading the mirror plus a husband that think I'm lazy, well... more reason to blog, right?;)

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  5. oh mine thinks I'm lazy too. Arse.

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  6. Assalamo alaikum,

    I'd personally love to see pictures of the above mess. I would find it very reassuring that I'm not the only one who lives in reality. At least you admit it, there are too many bloggers that give the impression that they are living some sort of perfect life.

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  7. this is why all my photos are extreme close-ups!

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  8. oh no no no, I couldn't put pictures here! I come here to escape reality not SEE it!

    extreme close ups - yup, camera angles and close ups - anything to hide to mess beyond the viewfinder ;-)

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  9. My dearest, breathe mama breathe. Perhaps, my house is in the same condition. We run a comb through my oldest son's hair as we push him into the door of the his early care at school everyday. And my 2 year old, we don't even comb his hair. He just goes to school with his nappy hair. We do what we can to survive everyday. There is beauty in dirty laundry.

    xoxo
    Sonya

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  10. When I first started to read blogs I felt very inadequate (sp) everything seemed to have positive words and lovley photos. As time went on I realised that we all put on a 'face' and why not. Life can be really hard, it is really hard we all need an escape. xx

    I have a laundry that could easily crush a small child, there are toys (or bits of toys) covering all floor areas - except the kitchen which is covered in flour and icing sugar - don't ask! - my sink is full of dishes and the worktops have even more dishes piled on them... *sigh*
    I love your honesty, I love your photos.

    Amanda
    xx

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  11. Yes, it's pure escapism this blog. It's my way of staying sane. I'm glad to hear we all have the same problems - I feel vindicated that I'm normal and not a failure!

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  12. You ain't seen my house lol. My only advantage - if it can be classed as one - is I have a dh obsessed with cleaning the kitchen. Nowhere else tho ;)

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  13. You can post him down here for a spell if you like! I am sure I could work on him to do bathrooms as well...

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  14. ROFL. If you manage that it would be a miracle. Toilets are self cleaning don't you know;)

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  15. There is definitely beauty - it is you!

    I think everyone can relate to this post. LOL!

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  16. sing it sister!!! i'm right there with you!

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  17. good to know we're all in it together :)

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  18. are we related?!?!?! Seriously I've always been...hmmm what shall I call it???..... NOT OCD ;).... but this year has been worse. Eh... I try, I fail. I keep trying. I lol'd (for real not just something to type) at the close up pic thing...so have done it!

    One thing I found that I use when I want disilusion myself into thinking I CAN BE "perfect" is the Flylady technique (it works) the only problem is it requires focus, and some motivation...Things I usually lack after homeschooling for a bit and online walking....ehh

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  19. I don't want to be perfect, that's the point I'm making - I'm not, and I don't really care. I just needed to explain why I blog - life isn't perfect and the bits you see here are selectively shown! :)

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  20. I so hear where you are coming from! Cunning photography is a serious skill.

    This is my trick for charming away the grunge that life brings us.

    PS I love your blog

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  21. 'charming away the grunge'... exactly! and thankyou :)

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