{Looking Back}

May 2008...









Again, marveling at how small they were. Looking back to remind myself of so many things; adventuring with my babes in the sun, squeezing their little bodies in bear hugs that swept them off their feet, how happiness could be found in a net and a lakeside, how handmade clothes were easier (and cheaper!) to make (and how I should make more effort to make them some more). Milk teeth grins, mispronounced words left uncorrected because it was just too cute, the enormity of the privilege to be allowed to be the one they call 'mama'; podgy arms and legs, boundless energy and enthusiasm, sucking thumbs.

Good grief I do miss these times. Even though at the time I was utterly convinced I never could.

Hugs now are boney, sucking thumbs are a long forgotten habit, I can no longer lift my babes off their feet or indeed have them on my lap. I should get the last of those sweet chubby cheek kisses before they grow boney. And hairy.

Enjoy the madness of your family this weekend, and if you have little people under four feet tall, sweep them off their feet, carry them on your back, sit them on your lap and eat them up. For all their littleness, just melt into it and inhale.

Short Years

Sometimes, when some of my friends with small children are on the verge of a meltdown, I will say things like 'this won't last forever', or 'honestly, this phase WILL pass'. I'm concerned that they think I'm telling them to suck it up and count their blessings and enjoy the insanity of these moments. But I'm not - I'm throwing them a rope, and letting them know, on the day after they've finished reading a blog of PerfectMama and how her children play harmoniously and build tree forts, knit hats for their brothers and sing Kum By Ah a capella in front of the woodstove and turn around to find their toddler has smeared faeces - actual FAECES - over the sofa, that one day it will all be better. Just hold on, mama, one day this mind-melting chaos that you think will be your life forever will so very soon be forgotten, and your children will be trying to kill you in altogether more infuriating ways which may not even include bodily fluid. I wish somebody had told me that; in fact, they probably did but the delirium from sleep deprivation meant all could hear was 'MUUUUUUUUUUUM'.

You know that saying 'the days are long, but the years are short'? Yeah, well it's true.

The other day I was flicking through, well Flickr actually, and I was taken aback by how little my children looked. They have changed so much. So much. I know how tired I was back then, but my body can not feel the effects anymore; I know I was probably nagging the eldest about things, but for the life of me I don't know why. I know my children moaned about one another, but dang it sounds so cute now.





















I wish I could go back and get one more smooch of those cheeks. I wish I could go back and tell me to get off my eldest's back. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop sweating the small stuff, and that the stuff I thought was big was actually quite a cute thing that they'd grow out of; I wish I could go back and get more photos, tell them how awesome I think they are, or how much I love them.

And then I realise that one day I'll be wishing the same about these moments too. And I'm giving them extra hard cuddles and smooches and hugs and telling them what good boys they are and how much I love them. Because I do. And I can. And one day these will all be a memory.

It really will.

Old Haunts

This used to be a regular haunt of ours. We haven't been here for a while. I couldn't help but giggle when I remembered how as a homeschooling posse of muslim mamas we came here when our babes were tots to teach them about trees and some salt dough was produced so the children could make casts of the tree bark. I swear other walkers though we were planting Semtex. Or how little the eldest was then, before the midget was even an idea. How he would try to rugby-tackle everyone around him.

We've been here most autumns to watch the rut, and to say hello to our doe-eyed friends. This year it all felt so different. Maybe it's because they are getting older. Maybe I'm moving on. Maybe we need to come more often.

Memories are a double-edged sword.

this time :: five years ago

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"This Time". Looking back once in a while to what we were doing on the same date in a different year. If you want to play along leave a comment here so others can find your posts.
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This Time :: Last Year

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A new series: "This Time". Looking back once in a while to what we were doing on the same date in a different year. If you want to play along leave a comment here so others can find your posts.
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{ This Moment }

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{ This Moment }

Just to say :: I've created a Flickr group for all our {this moment} shots. Please do join and share :: {This Moment} Flickr

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{ This Moment }

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{ This Moment }

Celebrating Life

This weekend was full of quiet gratitude and mellow celebration of life for us. Eldest turned one year older (wiser? well, let's not stretch the truth...) and we were fortunate to spend that time in the company of friends.

Simple things which mean so much.

{ This Moment }

{ This Moment }

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Things I Want to Remember

His work.

The smallness of his hands.

The happiness that a simple tray of rice can bring.

{ This Moment }

{ This Moment }

{ This Moment }

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For those celebrating Bonfire Night - have a great weekend and stay safe!

{ This Moment }

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. From Soulemama.



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{ This Moment }